Life in Hell
by lulu9994
Summary: Kate Durant is the only thing other than an insane domineering wife in another city. Upon arriving to Hell on Wheels, Kate strikes up a relationship with Cullen Bohannon. Life isn't perfect especially in hell. Between having a family that isn't supportive and a lover who has ghosts of his own that will soon affect her; Kate will have a lot of demons of her own soon.
1. Chapter 1

Cullen Bohannon sat listening to Thomas Durant babble on and on about something to do with getting the railroad done as quickly and as cheaply as possible. He hadn't been listening for some time. He just nodded every once and a while he would nod pretending to be interested.

His eyes fell to the photo on Durant's desk that held a photo of his niece Kate, the woman Cullen had been seeing secretly for almost 3 months now. If he had it his way he would have just told Durant and went on with it. Kate was the one that wanted to wait. She didn't want to rock the boat. No matter how many times Cullen had told her not to worry or be afraid it didn't seem to help.

"He won't do anything to us."

He had said just the night before as Kate snuggled to his side.

"Nothing except fire you and send me away to some awful place."

Cullen shook his head.

"Again he isn't going to do squat to us. I won't let him. You should know me by now."

She seemed satisfied enough with his response and didn't say anything else instead went back to snuggling against his side. They both knew that soon the sun would rise and she would have to go before her uncle realized that she was gone.

"What do you think Mr. Bohannon?"

Durant asked. Cullen looked up nodding not realizing he hadn't made a response in some time. He knew his mind wasn't in the right place at the moment. The last thing that he needed to be doing was worrying with a woman but for once he couldn't help it. Normally he could block stuff when it displeased him but with Kate it was different. The moment he saw her something was different. It wasn't the way it was with Mary. Hell, he didn't even know how to describe it.

The moment the petite woman stepped into Durant's office, Cullen didn't know what to do with himself. She didn't look at him with apprehension or fear. Instead, she only looked at him with a dainty smile.

Over the next few weeks

 _The night everything changed was like any other. Cullen had left the Starlight after a few drinks and was on his way back to his place when he noticed Kate standing near the edge of town looking out into the woods. With a frown he walked towards the young woman._

" _Ms. Kate you all right?"_

 _She looked at him with a smile._

" _Oh yes. What's beyond the wood line?"_

 _Cullen shrugged,_

" _I know there is a river about half a mile from here."_

 _Kate nodded._

" _Lovely."_

 _Cullen blinked._

" _You aint goin out there yourself are you?"_

 _Kate nodded._

" _I need some quiet. Away from all of this. You can come with me. Keep me safe if you want."_

 _She started to walk forward. Cullen stood a moment before quickly walking after her._

" _You can't be runnin off in the woods alone."_

 _Kate smirked._

" _Well here you are. If anyone can keep me safe I think you can."_

 _30 minutes later, Cullen stood beside Kate as she looked around with a pleased smile on her face._

" _This the kind of quiet you want?"_

 _Kate nodded._

" _It's peaceful here. Isn't it nice?"_

 _Cullen shrugged._

" _I don't really do peaceful Ms. Kate."_

 _Kate smirked._

" _You can just call me Kate. . You don't strike me as a person who does peace. You were a solider for the south wasn't you?"_

 _Cullen nodded finally looking into her deep blue eyes._

" _Yes ma'am. You going to judge me for it?"_

 _Kate shook her head before reaching out taking his hands in hers._

" _Not at all. You have honor. It's something that a lot of these jokers here don't have. I am usually good at reading people. You I can't though. I see a lot of pain in you."_

 _Kate reached forward brushing a strand of his hair from his face. She stood a moment longer before pressing a tender kiss to his lips. For a moment, Kate thought she had made a mistake until Cullen began to kiss back. The kiss lasted a moment longer until he pulled away. Cullen remained close leaning his forehead down against hers._

" _I'm a bad match for you"_

 _Kate reached up stroking his face._

" _That is yet to be seen:_

 _Cullen raised an eyebrow._

" _I'm too old for you"_

 _Kate sighed._

" _Would you stop being stubborn?"_

 _Cullen stood a moment longer before pulling her into his arms pressing another long kiss to her lips. Soft kisses led to long passionate ones. Cullen tried to keep his hands in a decent location on the woman's body._

" _You can touch me."_

 _She whispered. Cullen sighed._

" _You're a lady...probably a virgin too. This isn't exactly the place to be given that up. That finishin school your uncle sent you to not warn you about guys like me? This what you want? Right here by the river?"_

 _Kate stepped away slowly beginning to undo her dress before stepping into the river. Cullen watched her for a few moments longer wondering if this was going too far too quick or if this woman would be what he needed to heal him. She was innocent. She hadn't seen the things he did._

 _It maybe took Cullen about 2 minutes to decide this would probably be a good thing and was in the water after her. Kate didn't fight him when his hands went around her waist and began to press tender kisses to her neck and shoulders._

" _I take you like this you're mine."_

 _Kate nodded feeling her heart begin to pound as she turned wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. Cullen gently eased her down onto the soft sand of the river bank. He watched her eyes for any signs of regret. Upon seeing none, he let his hand fall between their bodies and began to let his fingers rub over her soft flesh. It has been too long since he had been with a woman. He had missed the softness and the way she seemed to mold to him._

 _Kate took a breath as Cullen began to push into her. She pressed her lips together trying to repress the cry as she felt her body was being torn into. Finally, the pain began to fade into pleasure._

" _Don't stop"_

 _She whispered as Cullen pulled her into a sitting position so they were both in the water as he continued to push into her sealing their new love._

Cullen was pulled from his memory when Sean McGinnis came running in.

"Mr. Bohannon, Mr. Durant! Come quick! Ms. Katherine is about to kill the Swede."

Cullen and Duran quickly stood following the young Irishman into the town center where sure enough Kate stood holding the Swede at gunpoint. People were gathered around looking watching with apprehensive faces. No one had quiet seen Kate Durant act like this. To most people she was uncommonly kind. She had friends with almost every class in the camp but here she was holding the overgrown menace to society at gunpoint.

Cullen and Durant both looked clearly shocked.

"Katherine drop the gun."

Durant said in his authoritative voice. Kate meanwhile, didn't budge nor lower the gun. Cullen watched his lover carefully for a moment before walking to her.

"Come now drop the gun."

He caught himself when he almost called her "darlin." The Swede meanwhile, laughed.

"Mr. Bohannon will you please get your whore under control."

All eyes rolled to Cullen and Kate who went pale. Durant turned looking at Bohannon and his niece with shocked eyes then looked back to the Swede.

"What are you talking about Mr. Gundersen?"

The Swede smiled innocently.

"I have caught Mr. Bohannon and your dear niece in the thoroughs of love making on numerous occasions."

Every became even more silent again as all eyes went back and forth. This was clearly the best entertainment any of them had in a while. Cullen had his hand going to the gun on his hip. Durant meanwhile, look absolutely livid.

"Both of you in my office now."

He turned storming off without another word. Cullen looked back to Kate who looked honestly afraid now.

"It's gonna be all right darlin."

He said calmly. Kate quickly walked to Cullen's side.

'I hope"

He reached down squeezing her hand at this point not caring that people were watching.

"Calm down darlin. I'm serious"

He said soothingly trying to ignore the stares of the people he knew. Elam caught his eye right away.

Walking into Durant's office, Kate immediately noticed her uncle pacing. He turned looking at them with furious eyes.

"How long has this been going on?"

Kate pressed her lips together.

"3 months."

Durant shook his head.

"This is completely inappropriate! Kate I want you to wait outside. I have nothing further to say to you."

Kate looked back at Cullen who gave her a gentle nod and she turned and walked out. Sitting in the hot sun, she looked up as Eva Toole approached.

"Mornin Ms. Kate."

She nodded.

"Good morning Eva."

Eva motioned to the bench as Kate nodded.

"So you and Mr. Bohannon huh?"

Kate's eyes teared up.

"Yes. If he and my uncle don't kill each other in there. Damn I should have shot that bastard earlier."

Eva chuckled.

"Woulda been amusin. No one here likes 'em. Back to you and Mr. Bohannon, you got nuthin to be ashamed of. He's a good man. Would keep you safe. I think a lot of 'em."

Kate smiled squeezing Eva's hand as Cullen walked out his blue eyes blazing. He quickly walked past not even looking at Kate who quickly stood and followed him.

"Cullen wait!"

He didn't stop. Kate quickly grabbed a hold of him arm making him stop.

"Cullen stop! What is going on?"

The look on his face was almost alien. He had never looked at Kate like that before.

"It's over Kate."

He didn't give her a chance to respond before turning and storming away leaving Kate looking after him in tears.

(Find out what Durant said to Cullen in the next chapter)


	2. Chapter 2

The following 2 months were beyond difficult. Kate wasn't talking to her uncle nor anyone else other than Ruth or Eva. Walking around in general she felt like she was not in tune with herself. Seeing Cullen in town he would look at her for a moment before quickly walking away.

1 week later...

Cullen had been in a mood from hell. If people thought he was an ass before they surely had to hate him beyond all logical reason now. He started working even harder possibly to keep his mind from wondering to thoughts of Kate. Seeing her out and about was hard enough. Pretending he didn't care was even harder.

"Mr. Bohannon?"

He didn't look up when Lilly Bell said his name.

"Yeah?"

Lilly frowned getting annoyed already. Bohannon was back to his asshole self.

"I came to talk to you about Kate."

Cullen sighed.

"Can't help ya."

Lilly pursed her lips putting her hands on her hips as Ruth walked up.

"Kate left...because of you and other reasons."

Ruth said calmly. Her voice was kind as always but there was a warning tone to it and her face etched with worry. Cullen stopped working and looked up.

"What's that gotta do with me?"

He said as he turned to walk away. Ruth quickly started after him.

"Cullen Bohannon you listen to me right now!"

She squealed angrily. Bohannon froze in his tracks before he turned looking at Ruth who looked ready to scream.

"Ok Ms. Ruth. What do you want me to know?"

Ruth sighed.

"She's with child."

Cullen's mouth fell.

"She came to you?"

Ruth nodded.

"She just found out. You know why she didn't come to you. Do you blame her? As cold as you have been to her you are probably the last person she considered going to. She didn't even tell her uncle. I begged her to stay and try to talk to you but she said no. I went to check on her this morning since she has been so ill. She was gone when I got there. She left a note. Asking me to not tell you. I think you deserve to know because you are a good man. Kate needs you like you need her. Whether you realize it or not she did do good for you. Now you can do whatever you will with this information."

Ruth turned walking away without another word leaving Bohannon looking after her. He turned looking at Lilly before taking off his hat throwing it on the ground.

"Shit!"

He turned quickly walking to the Durant's rail car. Without even knocking he stormed in. Durant looked up.

"Well good afternoon to you too."

Cullen didn't even give Durant a chance to speak before he exploded.

"Yeah you can. Did you know Kate is gone?"

Durant nodded.

"I received a telegram from my niece saying she was in another city."

Bohannon nodded getting angrier.

"She's pregnant!"

Durant's round face went pale as he stood.

"Why didn't you both tell me this? Are you both incapable of talking?"

"I just found out! Now she run off to New York and you ain't stoppin me from bein with her now. You don't like me that's fine I'm not marryin you."

Durant blinked.

"Well it seems as though I have no other choice. My niece's honor is clearly at stake."

Bohannon nodded.

"Well it's settled then."

Arriving in New York Cullen was in no way impressed. The big city was not for him I the slightest. Arriving at Thomas Durant's family home he was more than ready to get his woman and get back to work.

Meanwhile,

Meanwhile inside, Kate sat across from her aunt Hannah who was eating breakfast. Kate quietly pushed around a piece of sausage hoping to make it look more appealing. The thought of eating at the moment was almost unbearable.

"Kate you have not eaten anything. I don't understand what is the matter with you. Has your uncle not properly cared for you while you were away?"

Kate looked up.

"Uncle took care me fine Aunt Hannah. I'm just not feeling well."

Before Hannah could respond there was a knock at the door. Hannah looked up.

"I'll be back. I expect you to eat."

Kate sighed when Hannah walked out. Putting a hand over her mouth she felt queasy. She had yet to tell Hannah about the pregnancy. Kate felt her heart beginning to pound at the thought of the baby.

How was she to take care of and provide for this child? What would she say when the child asked where his or her father was? She couldn't say,

"Sorry darling your father is somewhere out west. We only had an affair. He has no clue about you."

That would be awful! What broke Kate's heart the most was this was just how her life began. Her own mother and father wasn't ready for a child and gave her to Thomas and Hannah upon her birth. Kate didn't even know where her parents were. Now her child would be a baby that had no clue about their father.

Hearing voices in the foyer, Kate stood and walked to the door peaking in. Her heart froze when she saw Cullen standing talking to her aunt.

"Mrs. Durant I really need to see Kate."

Hannah blinked crossing her hand over chest.

"What business do you have with my niece Mr. Bohannon?"

Cullen spoke softly.

"It's personal"

Hannah nodded.

"She's in try dinning room. Maybe you can convince her to eat. She's been a thorn in my side since she returned home."

Cullen only looked at Hannah before turning and walking toward the dinning room.

"Well all right then."

Kate meanwhile, made a dash for her chair in the process making herself even more queasy. Putting her head in her hand she couldn't even look up when the door opened.

"Kate?"

She looked up as Cullen sat down on her right side.

"What are you doing here?"

She asked timidly. Cullen raised an eyebrow.

"I should be askin you the same thing."

Kate frowned.

"This is my home. Clearly I had no reason to stay at Hell on Wheels."

Cullen sighed.

"That so? Is there somethin you need to tell me?"

Kate shook her head.

"'No because I don't even know what the hell happened to us. Why do I owe you any explanations?"

Cullen shrugged.

"Guess you don't. Well you should eat before your aunt has a conniption."

Kate frowned looking down at the food on her plate again feeling sick. She took her napkin from her lap trying to fan her face.

"When my wife got pregnant with our son she couldn't stand the smell of meat cooking. I think she got sick every time food was put in front her."

Cullen said eyeing Kate carefully. When she didn't respond Cullen had enough beating around the bush.

"How far are you?"

Kate looked frightened.

"How do you know? Wait did Ruth tell you?!"

Cullen nodded.

"Yeah. She was worried about you and quiet frankly I am too. Why didn't you come to me?"

Kate shrugged.

"you made it clear you didn't want me anymore. Whatever my uncle said to you obviously did the trick."

Kate stood walking to the window. She heard Cullen stand and walk behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist letting his hands run over her still flat stomach.

"He said I would just get you killed like my family. I'm wondering if he is right. Everthing I seem to touch dies. Everything I tough gets ruined. But I can't stay away from you. Now I know that your carryin my child I can't stay away. Ill do anything to keep you both safe."

Kate sighed hating her uncle even more in that moment. He pulled a complete below the belt move to break the two of them up.

"I know your sense of honor Cullen but I don't want that to be the only reason you are with me."

Cullen growled.

"I want you with me."

Kate let her hand fall to his that was still lightly stroking her stomach.

"He's wrong you know...my uncle. You are not cursed. I know you will keep me and the baby safe. I don't doubt that."

Cullen nodded clearly not listening to what she was saying. Kate sighed knowing she would have to let him think what he wanted to. There would be no convincing her lover that he wasn't cursed if he didn't want to believe it himself. Kate remained quiet for a moment before looking back up.

"We must be the talk of the town."

Cullen frowned. He hadn't heard people say much about Kate in the time she had left. Granted most people were probably afraid they would get their heads kicked in if he heard them talk. Surely there were people talking about how Cullen Bohannon's girl was pregnant with his child and they weren't married.

"I don't care what they have to say."

Kate sighed.

"You haven't shot anyone over this have you?"

Cullen shook his head.

"I wanted to shoot your uncle but he is still alive. Look Kate, I want to marry you. Those people can talk but at least we would be doin the right thing."

About that time Hannah cam bursting into the dinning room. She froze looking at her niece.

"Well this explains your personal reasons for wanting to see her."

Kate looked up.

"Aunt I have something that I want to talk to you about."

Hannah nodded.

"Go on."

She sat down looking like her ever snooty self. Kate looked at Cullen a moment before looking back to her aunt.

"I'm pregnant."

Hannah's face fell into a clearly shocked expression. She looked to Cullen quickly.

"I do hope you plan on marrying her. Furthermore, I am shocked with you Katherine."

Cullen put a hand on Kate's arm keeping her against him.

"Yes I am marryin her and I am takin her back with me."

Hannah snorted.

"Ah that will be a lovely place to give birth to a baby. Well Katherine if you want to throw your life away for a rebel southern murderer have at it darling. I think you both should go."

"Ma'am you don't know anything you are talkin about."

Cullen said coldly. Hannah turned on her heel glaring back at him.

"I know the things that you do for my husband and now my niece is being thrown into the circle full speed ahead. Good day to you both."

 _5 days later..._

Arriving back to hell on wheels, Kate was prepared to deal with the stares of those around her. She was still furious with the Swede for the way that he told god and everyone what she and Cullen were doing. There was also the fact that the creep was watching them as they made love made it worse.

"What are you thinkin about?"

Cullen asked. Kate looked up.

"I am not pleased about the whole thing the Swede did. I am uncomfortable with the thought of him watching us while we made love. Those were rather intimate moments I would have liked to keep between the two of us."

Cullen chuckled.

"As much as I don't like the thought of that bastard lookin at my naked ass I don't want you worryin over him. I just want you to worry about the baby and staying healthy."

Kate smiled placing her hand on his leg.

"Cullen we have a long time until the baby comes."

He sighed.

"Be here sooner than you think."

Cullen stood helping Kate off of the train. He looked at Kate carefully. It was common knowledge the first was usually the hardest on the mother and this time he couldn't help but worry.

"Kate?"

She turned to see Eva who broke into a run pulling her into a hug.

"I have been right worried about you. Is the rumors true about you two havin a baby?"

Kate glanced at Cullen.

"It is"

Eva looked even more surprised as she reached out eagerly hugging Kate kissing her cheek.

"Well I'll let yall get settled. Come see me soon."

When Eva was gone Cullen quickly ushered Kate into his rail car. He sat her bags down before pulling Kate into his arms. His lips were on hers automatically.

"Cullen I..."

He gently shushed her as he went to lay her back on the bed.

"I want whats mine before we go deal with your uncle."

Kate reached out cupping his cheek before reaching for the buttons on his shirt.

"Not so fast darlin...we don't have to rush anymore."

Kate smiled undoing her dress letting it fall to the floor leaving her naked. Cullen's stormy eyes fell over her body before pulling her back to the bed. Kate whimpered when he pulled her into another heated kiss. She reached up tangling her fingers in his hair pulling gently. Cullen moaned finally laying her back. Kate had never seen Cullen undress so quick.

The moment he was back in bed, Cullen's hands were running down her body cupping her breasts before falling lower to get her wet. Kate cried out the moment his fingers began to finger her.

"Get on me."

He growled. Kate quickly climbed onto her now fiance crying out the moment he pushed into her. She whimpered as he began to make love to her. Both knew there would be no long lasting love making this time.

Sure enough neither lasted as long as hoped. Kate lay snuggled against Cullen's chest running her fingers over the muscles in his chest and stomach.

"You never told me what my uncle said about the baby."

Cullen rolled his eyes.

"What could he really say darlin? He's not happy. Not that I really care. He didn't try to shoot me like he did the first time we met. I guess if you wanna call that a win you can."

Kate yawned.

"Good point."

She said sleepily as Cullen turned on his side holding her against him.

"Sleep darlin."

"Will you be here when I wake?"

He nodded.

"I don't have to be at work until tomorrow mornin and we don't have to face your uncle until later tonight."

Kate nodded before drifting off to sleep. Cullen lay holding her tightly against him. He watched her carefully before letting her hand gently stroke her stomach. As much as he would like to admit he was excited about this baby he couldn't. After the events of the past few years the one thing Cullen Bohannon had quickly gotten used to was "Don't get too happy about anything." It gets taken away too quickly.

His mind went to Mary. When she was pregnant he wasn't worried like he was now. Of course he was a different man then too. He wasn't as angry and cold then.

When Kate sighed wrapping her arms around his waist it pulled Cullen from his thoughts. Looking down at her he lovingly stroked her face. It would be a cold day in hell before someone took her from him.

Putting the thoughts of their unborn child out of his mind for the moment, Cullen looked down at her again. He couldn't help but wonder why she was still sharing his bed. Was he holding her back? Holding her back from someone younger who wouldn't worry her with the dark and distant expressions he did. Holding her back from someone who could give her the luxurious life that she was used to in New York?

He wasn't broke by any means. Cullen could get her almost anything she could possibly want. Kate never asked for expensive material things. She only wanted his time. Any time that he could give her she was fine with. Kate knew he was busy with the whole building of the rail road and the random tasks that Durant came up with. There were many night before she got pregnant that he didn't get to spend with her. She never complained though instead she was that happier for their time alone together.

"Are you worrying about us again?"

Kate asked sleepily. Cullen sighed. He wasn't aware that she had woken back up.

"No darlin."

Kate yawned.

"Get some rest. We have to face my leach of an uncle soon."

She whispered before slowly drifting off to sleep again. Cullen closed his eyes knowing it would be time to wake up and face the world soon enough. They wouldn't be able to hide forever...no matter how wonderful it sounded.


End file.
